.

Apr. 23rd, 2009 08:59 pm
jitterbug: (art - kfh - further still)
  • after 20 months of sleeping through the night and many months of being able to soothe herself to sleep, sprout stopped self-soothing and also started waking up in the middle of the night. this is a whole new world for me and it's taking a toll -- i'm exhausted. a couple times over the last week i lost it completely and told sprout i'm turning her in for a refund.
  • one of my english courses this semester is incredibly challenging. the content is relatively approachable but the depth of critical analysis during class discussion is astounding. i find myself questioning my intelligence and feeling inferior to my classmates. i realize how petty that sounds but this is not something i've ever experienced before in an academic setting and i have yet to find a positive way to take this in.
  • my grandmother's mental health is steadily declining. i called her yesterday and found myself growing annoyed and making excuses to get off the phone. i know that my annoyance is not directed at her. it's frustration at feeling helpless at watching her brain slowly turn to mush. i really want to gather the patience to listen to the same story over and over again...
  • my mental health is steadily declining. i've been seriously considering going back on medication before all hell breaks loose but i'm not convinced that the price i'll pay [both literally and figuratively] is worth it.
dinner: i made a stir-fry with tofu, carrots, edamame, chestnuts, snow peas and a pineapple teriyaki sauce which tasted like ass. how does anyone mess up a stir-fry? i also made puff pastry with brie and strawberry jam; that, along with a glass of soy milk ended up being my dinner.

lost.
book.
sex.
bed.
not necessarily in that order.


flu?

Feb. 23rd, 2009 12:00 pm
jitterbug: (i'm angry - dead)
every time i stand upright, i feel like i'm going to faint. walking 20 feet from my bedroom to the kitchen completely wore me out. i sank down onto the kitchen floor and counted to 20 so that i wouldn't cry.

i don't so much mind the coughing, runny nose, chills, all over soreness, light-headedness, and fever, but the head pressure is absolute killer.

3 [short, thankfully] papers and a group lesson plan due today/tuesday/wednesday.
jitterbug: (kfh - further.still.)
chills. my skin hurts. puking. i've had a migraine, ranging from mild to severe, for the last 15 hours. the pressure behind my eyes feels strong enough to cave my face in. a short paper due monday; final project drafts due tuesday and wednesday. i can barely function with this head on. looks like my plan for a study day at the library isn't happening. fabulous.

at least i managed to get up with eloise at the ass crack o' dawn and clean the apartment. i might fail miserably this semester but at least every surface in the house is spotless.

...

Jun. 24th, 2008 06:01 pm
jitterbug: (spring/summer flower)
i wanted to post about the mermaid parade. instead i went to the doctor to have my self-diagnosed killer flu confirmed. turns out i have: an eye infection, an ear infection (both ears), a severe throat infection, as well as upper and lower respiratory infections.

dear antibiotics,

KILLKILLKILL.

thank you.

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